Here We Go.

I've wanted to write for so long.

But I don't have the words.

My journal is even pretty empty.

All I can say is that things are still changing.

• Spring semester has already proven to be more difficult; more time-consuming; more effective; more exciting; just MORE.
• Tutoring a 6th grader, who would have thought I could even do that. It's been a blast...definitely tests my patience. But I am in love with it. I am in love with kids and the one on one time with Joseph, who is actually a sweetheart that wants to make me happy and proud.
• My internship at an elementary starts today...I have my teacher outfit picked out. I laughed when I realized that the majority of my wardrobe could be considered "teacher-wear".
• I am very content with being single right now. And I am actually serious.
• In the shower I sliced my finger open with a strand of wet hair...
• Today I praise God for repentence and His forgiveness and for being SO involved in my life. Also for new friendships that look promising.

Thank You Father for your satisfying peace.

Progress

My Jesus, You satisfy.

He really does.

The other day I was experiencing some familiar feelings. Ones I really wasn't expecting to feel.

You know how sometimes you just want a specific someone to accept you, pay attention to you, admire you?

So you seek acceptance, attention and admiration from that person.

But it's never completely satisfying is it?

Remembering the truth that Jesus is the only One that can satisfy is hard.

But once realizing that truth, it is SO freeing.

Jesus DOES satisfy. I don't know why I feel so surprised when I hear that.

Of course He satisfies. He is perfect. He is beautiful. He is loving. He is LOVE!

Anyway, I am just really overwhelmed by that truth these past days and wanted to share.

Pleasures and Blessings...

I wanted to share with you some photos I've been taking with my new lenses for my camera phone. I got a new phone recently with a better camera! Praise God! And it was free too...so that is pretty cool. The camera is so good on it that I am actually able to print the photos that I take with it like I would with my own camera. Pretty crazy right Sarah?! But I feel so glad because so often, there is an image I want to capture and I won't have my camera. Now I have this better camera phone and super cool lenses.

Also, I just wanted to take this time now to really thank God for answering prayers. Even the prayers I hadn't even formed into words yet.

The past few weeks I have been so blessed with conversations which have completely uplifted me, encouraged me, and have put so much truth back into my life.

I praise God for the amazing people he has placed in my life. I praise Him for giving me the strength and willingness to be honest about everything, even embarrassing things, with those people. With new friends as well. I praise God for giving me authority and for even giving me the option of truth to choose every single day and the strength to choose it! I choose the truth!

God knows me more intimately than a husband would his wife and His love is overwhelming.

All the ways You have blessed me LORD, how do I even deserve them?

From a Walt Whitman poem "When I heard the learn'd Astronomer"
Using my macro to focus in on the detail the coffee man put on top of my almond mocha.

Here is what it looked like from further away.

Towards the end of the drink, it turned into a heart.A blurry James Mathis.

Fish-eye lense on the walk from school to the apartment.

The next two are from an antique musical thing I received as a graduation gift from a friend. I used my macro lense.

Sleeping Winters

97% of the time, Fiji is sleeping.
You can tell Sophie gets a little tired of it.

Turkey-turkey

I've been having some weird dreams lately. Weird and kind of scary. But at the same time, comforting..peaceful. Let me tell you why.

As rediculous as the images may be, in the background, a hymn will be playing. Most of the time it's "when peace like a river, attendeth my soul..." or "morning by morning, new mercies I see. All I have needed thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."

How can I feel afraid when my Father is all there, all the time, even when I am not?

Especially when I am not.

Thanksgiving is almost here! So of course I drew my hand turkey in my planner. So I wouldn't forget :) I am so excited for a break. I'm excited to have nice time to do whatever I want, like craft and make stuffed animals and Christmas ornaments. I am most excited about family time. I love my family. I am also really excited about time with my pets. They really do bring so much happiness into this world.

I get to see one of my favorite bands play in Georgia tomorrow night. Azure Ray. It will be a long drive, but worth it. I'll post photos of it later!

Names

Here are some variations of my name that I had heard the past 15 years that I've been in school.

Just when I think I've heard them all...another one comes along and just blows my mind. Enjoy!

1. Venus Rice (a boy in PE class, tenth grade, I will never forget)

2. Viener (a friends roomates)

3. Vienna (like the sausage)

4. Vizenez (Sarah Thompson)

5. Vineez

6. "Vee-an-eZ Rayz" (about 90% of all teachers on the first day of school)

7. Vianey

8. DNA (Zev from Java's Brewing)

9. Ya-nay (my sister and some neighbors)

10. Na-nay (my mother when she's trying to be cute)

11. Bella (my parents)

12. Nay-Nay (Marquze from high school, he was hilarious)

13. Vea (The residents and my bosses from my old job at a retirement community)

14. "VNA" (7 year old Johanna who drew me a picture of a turkey today at church!)

15. Beesknees (my brother started calling me this and somehow, now almost all of my friends call me this...it really makes no sense. haha)

16. Veaney (my grandparents have always spelled it this way, even though they are the ones that named me...hahaha)

17. Phyllis (Brett Sheffield, the ONLY one who has ever called me this. I don't think even he knows why he calls me this. Only where it comes from...haha But I love it.)

18. Veanez (Wesley-I think the only one who ever calls me by my real name unless he's trying to annoy me, then he goes for na-nay.)

Thoughts on November 9, 2010

"You make beautiful things out of dust;

You make beautiful things out of us."

I am feeling very secure on this day. What a wonderful feeling.

That my Father "makes me dwell in safety"

He lies me down in PEACE and gives me REST.

Psalm 3:3-5

"But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head.

I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill.

I lay down and slept;

I awoke, for the Lord sustained me."

This reminded me of when I was young and lived with my grandparents back in Texas.

When I would have terrible dreams and couldn't sleep, my grandfather, Tata, would take me into his arms, pray over me and sing 'Allelujah' until I fell back to sleep. I was safe there.

He heard my cry in the night, and gave me rest.

I am encouraged by my grandfather over and over again. Just the thought of him. The most patient man I have ever known. Peace and joy in every line of his face. Humbleness in his voice.

He taught me how to capture beauty and God's creation through a lens, he gave me my first camera, and gave me my current camera. He taught me to pursue a career that I had a desire for, even if it wouldn't make me a lot of money.

What wisdom this man has.

It's so awesome to see the amazing people God has placed in my life.

And to see the things that I remember from my childhood, lessons I've been taught and learned, and how they are playing in my decision making this year, this day, this hour.

And all the while, it is what God has orchestrated.

His hand is over everything.

And that is why I am safe.

Psalm 4:8

"I will both lie down in peace, and sleep;

for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety"

It's Coming

"Long hoped for calm; the autumnal serenity."

Make Your Heart

You know how dogs can sense when you are feeling down?

Well, my cat has that ability. Only my cat doesn't comfort me by just being around me when I feel like crying. She makes me a cup of tea as well.

It reminds me of a song by Azure Ray.

"If I could make your heart, feel always loved, I would give my whole world up for you to feel always loved!"

Oooh Sophie...

Love and Permanence

Break my heart again, so that I might see!

Azure Ray is sooooo gooooood!

Tiny Sneek-Peek Ben and Sarah Engagement Photo Shoot

Man Oh Man, they're getting married!!!

Window shopping in downtown Greensboro.

Tire swing. The tiny bouquet Ben made for Sarah the day he proposed; kept in a mason jar.Tattoos. Sarah's engagement ring and some celebration.

See the cross in the window Sarah?

Vines!

I had the awesome opportunity of taking my best friend Sarah's engagement photos! She is marrying this great guy named Ben! They call me Beesknees...I love them!!! I praise God that it was such a relaxed session. It felt like we were all just hanging out. I am so excited for their marriage...it's rediculous. They are going to be such a great team, these two. I also cannot wait to one day live with them and in their childs bedroom and be the nanny! WOOOO!

October 5, 2010

Walking in Target today while I waited for some photos to be printed, I got kind of sad.

I was observing the people that where shopping. Many were mothers with children sitting in the shopping carts. I was honestly horified at how much these mothers were neglecting their screaming, crying children. One lady, which I saw every once in a while the whole time I spent in the store, was on her phone chatting with a friend while her poor little girl was just talking away to her mother that wasn't listening. It was so obvious that she just wanted to show her mother funny things; spend time with her. But I wonder if the mother even noticed.

It made me think of the children in Kenya. There were SO many children that the majority of them would not get paid any attention. Their faces would light up everytime someone from our team would reach out to hold their hand, to take their photo, to pick them up, hug them, smile at them.

I have been missing those children a lot these days.

Be My Only

I am twenty years old and the majority of my friends are getting married. And it seems like it's only getting harder on me. Pathetic right?! In the back of my mind, (and I know this is silly), I hear an annoying voice say, "Always the bridemaid, never the bride!" The kind of tone a 4 year old would use when mocking you.

It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have this crazy, (and natural), desire to be a wife. For some reason, I think I would be so good at it.



Please do not get me wrong. I do not mean to sound bitter and jealous towards my married/engaged/promised friends. I am SO excited for them. For their marraige! Because I know that God will be in it.


It's just something I have had to continually deal with for over a year now. I really do want Jesus to completely fill that role in my life. I want that more than marriage. I know that I do. Satan has tried to convince me that He is not enough. But that is a lie.


Jesus, become my only. Be my husband, my best friend, my Father.


The love of God is stronger!





My best friend Sarah Hankins is coming to Greensboro for a few days to visit her fiance and to hang out with me! I can barely wait. I get to take their engagement photos! If I didn't have women like Sarah in my life, I would be one super angry, uptight, and depressed young lady.





PRAISE GOD!