Progress

My Jesus, You satisfy.

He really does.

The other day I was experiencing some familiar feelings. Ones I really wasn't expecting to feel.

You know how sometimes you just want a specific someone to accept you, pay attention to you, admire you?

So you seek acceptance, attention and admiration from that person.

But it's never completely satisfying is it?

Remembering the truth that Jesus is the only One that can satisfy is hard.

But once realizing that truth, it is SO freeing.

Jesus DOES satisfy. I don't know why I feel so surprised when I hear that.

Of course He satisfies. He is perfect. He is beautiful. He is loving. He is LOVE!

Anyway, I am just really overwhelmed by that truth these past days and wanted to share.

Pleasures and Blessings...

I wanted to share with you some photos I've been taking with my new lenses for my camera phone. I got a new phone recently with a better camera! Praise God! And it was free too...so that is pretty cool. The camera is so good on it that I am actually able to print the photos that I take with it like I would with my own camera. Pretty crazy right Sarah?! But I feel so glad because so often, there is an image I want to capture and I won't have my camera. Now I have this better camera phone and super cool lenses.

Also, I just wanted to take this time now to really thank God for answering prayers. Even the prayers I hadn't even formed into words yet.

The past few weeks I have been so blessed with conversations which have completely uplifted me, encouraged me, and have put so much truth back into my life.

I praise God for the amazing people he has placed in my life. I praise Him for giving me the strength and willingness to be honest about everything, even embarrassing things, with those people. With new friends as well. I praise God for giving me authority and for even giving me the option of truth to choose every single day and the strength to choose it! I choose the truth!

God knows me more intimately than a husband would his wife and His love is overwhelming.

All the ways You have blessed me LORD, how do I even deserve them?

From a Walt Whitman poem "When I heard the learn'd Astronomer"
Using my macro to focus in on the detail the coffee man put on top of my almond mocha.

Here is what it looked like from further away.

Towards the end of the drink, it turned into a heart.A blurry James Mathis.

Fish-eye lense on the walk from school to the apartment.

The next two are from an antique musical thing I received as a graduation gift from a friend. I used my macro lense.

Sleeping Winters

97% of the time, Fiji is sleeping.
You can tell Sophie gets a little tired of it.

Sleeping Wieners

My butt is very numb after sitting on this hall floor for the past hour.

I took two exams today, which means I am finished with two classes.

I absolutely love this feeling.

Now, I go home for the next few days to spend time with Mommy.

Joy.

It was absolutely freezing this morning...I walked to school at 7:30, it felt like it was 20 degrees. Jack Frost was nipping at my whole face. I seriously just need a beard.

These poor cheeks.

The end.

New Excitement!

I got some awesome lenses for my camera phone! It came with two lenses; one is a fisheye lense and the other serves as a macro lense AND a wide angle lense! I was sooo excited to receive them! It was one of my happiest times!

My flowers are popping up!!!

Gingerbread men!!!
The beautiful sky! Ready to snow.

Here's my happy face!

Hello, December

"I looked at my hands to see if I was de same person now I was free. Dere was such glory ober everything, de sun came like gold trou de trees, and ober de fields, and I felt like I was in heaven." -Harriet Tubman

I had a dream this morning while I was still asleep. I was in Kenya with my team. It was different though. And I didn't know where I was. The place was unfamiliar. I was afraid for some reason. I didn't know why. Then all of the sudden I was in a river surrounded by rocks and I was so petrified because even in my dream, I could not swim. So I was clinging to the huge red rocks as the the river was sweeping me away. I remember seeing my wet hands and fingers and nails, scratching, trying to grip. But I could not climb, I was so weak. I was crying.

It was really scary.

Now, I'm not really one to try and "decode" my dreams. I think it's silly. But, I do believe that sometimes they can be symbolic. And it's obvious to me, what the symbols in this dream meant.

I feel so selfish asking for your prayers. Because I understand that there are other needs in this world. Other people in more need than I.

But I would appreciate your prayers. For strength, motivation, peace, and patience.

The ends of November.

I am including some photos from the Azure Ray concert I went to last week. It was really good, as in, the music was wonderful live. It brought back many memories. Not that I don't still listen to their music. But for some odd reason, hearing them being played live, reminded me of the times that I had first heard the songs. I could even remember the feelings I used to feel when listened to them back in the day.

Things are so different now. I am so amazed at how far I've been brought.

And I'm thankful.

Things are still changing. Even now, this week, certain events are taking place in my life that will mold me. Hard things. But good things. Much prayer for strength is needed.

Here comes another season!

Turkey-turkey

I've been having some weird dreams lately. Weird and kind of scary. But at the same time, comforting..peaceful. Let me tell you why.

As rediculous as the images may be, in the background, a hymn will be playing. Most of the time it's "when peace like a river, attendeth my soul..." or "morning by morning, new mercies I see. All I have needed thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."

How can I feel afraid when my Father is all there, all the time, even when I am not?

Especially when I am not.

Thanksgiving is almost here! So of course I drew my hand turkey in my planner. So I wouldn't forget :) I am so excited for a break. I'm excited to have nice time to do whatever I want, like craft and make stuffed animals and Christmas ornaments. I am most excited about family time. I love my family. I am also really excited about time with my pets. They really do bring so much happiness into this world.

I get to see one of my favorite bands play in Georgia tomorrow night. Azure Ray. It will be a long drive, but worth it. I'll post photos of it later!

Names

Here are some variations of my name that I had heard the past 15 years that I've been in school.

Just when I think I've heard them all...another one comes along and just blows my mind. Enjoy!

1. Venus Rice (a boy in PE class, tenth grade, I will never forget)

2. Viener (a friends roomates)

3. Vienna (like the sausage)

4. Vizenez (Sarah Thompson)

5. Vineez

6. "Vee-an-eZ Rayz" (about 90% of all teachers on the first day of school)

7. Vianey

8. DNA (Zev from Java's Brewing)

9. Ya-nay (my sister and some neighbors)

10. Na-nay (my mother when she's trying to be cute)

11. Bella (my parents)

12. Nay-Nay (Marquze from high school, he was hilarious)

13. Vea (The residents and my bosses from my old job at a retirement community)

14. "VNA" (7 year old Johanna who drew me a picture of a turkey today at church!)

15. Beesknees (my brother started calling me this and somehow, now almost all of my friends call me this...it really makes no sense. haha)

16. Veaney (my grandparents have always spelled it this way, even though they are the ones that named me...hahaha)

17. Phyllis (Brett Sheffield, the ONLY one who has ever called me this. I don't think even he knows why he calls me this. Only where it comes from...haha But I love it.)

18. Veanez (Wesley-I think the only one who ever calls me by my real name unless he's trying to annoy me, then he goes for na-nay.)

Thoughts on November 9, 2010

"You make beautiful things out of dust;

You make beautiful things out of us."

I am feeling very secure on this day. What a wonderful feeling.

That my Father "makes me dwell in safety"

He lies me down in PEACE and gives me REST.

Psalm 3:3-5

"But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head.

I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill.

I lay down and slept;

I awoke, for the Lord sustained me."

This reminded me of when I was young and lived with my grandparents back in Texas.

When I would have terrible dreams and couldn't sleep, my grandfather, Tata, would take me into his arms, pray over me and sing 'Allelujah' until I fell back to sleep. I was safe there.

He heard my cry in the night, and gave me rest.

I am encouraged by my grandfather over and over again. Just the thought of him. The most patient man I have ever known. Peace and joy in every line of his face. Humbleness in his voice.

He taught me how to capture beauty and God's creation through a lens, he gave me my first camera, and gave me my current camera. He taught me to pursue a career that I had a desire for, even if it wouldn't make me a lot of money.

What wisdom this man has.

It's so awesome to see the amazing people God has placed in my life.

And to see the things that I remember from my childhood, lessons I've been taught and learned, and how they are playing in my decision making this year, this day, this hour.

And all the while, it is what God has orchestrated.

His hand is over everything.

And that is why I am safe.

Psalm 4:8

"I will both lie down in peace, and sleep;

for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety"

Fruits, toots.

His name is Stephan.

Acorn Heads

I'm an acorn!

I think I am getting a cold. Uh-oh! This stinks because I'll have no one to take care of me.
These last few weeks have been incredibly busy with this and that.
Seems like all of my assigments are all due at the same time.
It's hard to keep up sometimes. I guess I am fortunate that I don't have a job right now. Although, I miss working so terribly!
Yesterday I took my friends Helen Marie and Jimmy's engagement photos.
They are two of the most delightful people I know. So it was a blessing to be with them for an hour or two. I met a dog named Jack! I feel like Sarah Hankins when I say that. But Jack was so friendly and talkative, he kept howling at us whenever we wouldn't pet him. It sounded like he was saying "yooooooooouuuuu!" I know he meant he loved me.
He was part golden retreiver, and part poodle! Huge dog! But lovely none the less.

Here is Jack:

Apart from feeling sick, and apart from all the crazy school things I'm having to do, I am at peace! There is joy inside my heart.
Tomorrow I get to go to my home, see my family, see my PETS! Relax, visit some friends in Columbia, go to church and cut all my hair off hopefully.
It will be an awesome weekend!

Keep an eye out for HM and Jimmy's photos on my photography blog:
photographybeesknees.blogspot.com

Just a small reflection...

I am wearing the most comfortable pants I own.

(Not the ones in the photo, that was taken a few days ago.)

But it's crazy how something so simple, like comfortable pants, can turn your whole day around.

What puts you in a good mood?

For me, it's walking to school in the rain, coming up with crazy ideas with my sister, seeing a man with a beard, hearing my mother laugh uncontrollably, being able to be myself with my best friend, having my cat sitting on my shoulder, romping around with my dog Buffy, walking down the office supplies aisle, having time to craft, ect.

My sister is coming to Greensboro tomorrow!

Even though I probably won't be able to spend much time with her,

it will be nice to have family over.

If you like the story of Beowulf and want to waste 12 minutes, you should watch this video I helped my sister make for her english class. I think I only act this way when I'm with her.

ENJOY!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=1615597302266

PS: there is a boy in my Lit class that has my last name, Reyes. If I marry him, I wont have to change my name...something to consider.

A Treat

Today, I had an appointment with my advisor about which classes I should take next semester. I don't know how I didn't realize it before, but the appointment was in the building for education majors. It was so encouraging just to be there. It made me remember why I was going to college in the first place. I want, so badly to become a teacher.

My whole life, seriously, I have had that desire.

I used to make my brother and sister play "school" with me where I was the teacher, they were the students, and my mother served as the principal, janitor, and cafeteria lady.

I would actually give them homework; they hated me when I was in my teacher mode.

I dreamed of the day that I would have my own desk, with my own stapler, tape dispenser and other office supplies. And I remember the day that my mother and I went out and found my dream desk. The same day she gave me my first stapler.

O what a happy day!

So, just walking into that buiding today, nothing could take that joy away from me at that moment. Even the people inside seemed different. It was as if they understood me!

They saw my desire, just like I saw theirs.

It also made me realize, that there is nothing more attractive to me, than a man who has the desire to teach children one day.

I got to see those kinds of men today!

I think I really needed that encouragement.

I also found out at my appointment that I actually get to start taking teacher education classes next semester! I didn't think I would be able to do that until next Fall.

Praise God!

It's Coming

"Long hoped for calm; the autumnal serenity."

Quick Start

"Blessed are they who did not see,

but, being blind, believed."

I am so amazed at how fast this week has gone. Well, when I think about it, I am more amazed at how fast these past few months have gone by. It's almost Thanksgiving...seems like summer was only yesterday. And even though it was only a little while ago, looking back, I can see the change in me from then to now. When I got back from Kenya, I was a mess.

Everything was happening so fast. I had just experienced things that broke my heart.

Things that had me questioning God's will, God's justice, God's love.

I arrived home and had to say goodbye to my elderly friends at the retirement community I worked for for over a year. I had to pack everything in my room in several boxes ready to be moved in only a couple of days. It would be my first time living away from home.

My first apartment. Adulthood? Now? Just like that?

A week and a half later, I was moved into my apartment, left alone...after being around so many people day after day for a few weeks, it was tough. Especially with so many things weighing on my mind. But I thank God for the patience He's had with me. I cannot understand it.

I am adjusting still, but I am enjoying, so much, the community I have here. My dear friends!

People that know me.

They know my voice, my facial expressions, my likes or obsessions, (cats), even my struggles...

It is plain to see that I was placed here to be pruned.

But I am so happy that I don't have to do it alone!

God is good and He is faithful.

I do miss my cat though.

The Man Who Was Thursday

"Thus, and thus only, the whole place had properly to be regarded; it had to be considered not so much as a workshop for artists, but as a frail but finished work of art."
-G.K. Chesterton

Make Your Heart

You know how dogs can sense when you are feeling down?

Well, my cat has that ability. Only my cat doesn't comfort me by just being around me when I feel like crying. She makes me a cup of tea as well.

It reminds me of a song by Azure Ray.

"If I could make your heart, feel always loved, I would give my whole world up for you to feel always loved!"

Oooh Sophie...

Love and Permanence

Break my heart again, so that I might see!

Azure Ray is sooooo gooooood!

Where I Am

There are very few nights where I fail to put myself to sleep. But last night was one of those nights. I probably shouldn't have had Earl Grey an hour before bedtime.

Dreadful!

I was left alone, awake to think about whatever came.

I used to be so good about keeping certain things out of my mind. I suppose lately in my life I have been made weaker by this new season.

The season where everything is getting cut off so that there can be growth.

It has been tough! You know?

I guess I forgot how painful these seasons can be.

But last night, in an attempt to put myself to sleep, I started to pray.

Because honestly, most nights I fall asleep talking to God and it's lovely.

He reminded me of something though, something that used to be easier to remember.

And it is that there is so much to look forward to! That things will never always be like this.

God's will, which I am desperately trying to live out, is real.

He sees the woman He is creating, He sees the final product, and He is pleased!

Praise God that He is transforming me!
It makes me excited and ready to move forward in this suffering.

"If the leaves had not been let go to fall and wither,

if the tree had not consented to be a skeleton for many months,

there would be no new life rising, no bud, no flower, no fruit, no seed, no new generation."

-Lilias Trotter in Parables of The Cross

Tiny Sneek-Peek Ben and Sarah Engagement Photo Shoot

Man Oh Man, they're getting married!!!

Window shopping in downtown Greensboro.

Tire swing. The tiny bouquet Ben made for Sarah the day he proposed; kept in a mason jar.Tattoos. Sarah's engagement ring and some celebration.

See the cross in the window Sarah?

Vines!

I had the awesome opportunity of taking my best friend Sarah's engagement photos! She is marrying this great guy named Ben! They call me Beesknees...I love them!!! I praise God that it was such a relaxed session. It felt like we were all just hanging out. I am so excited for their marriage...it's rediculous. They are going to be such a great team, these two. I also cannot wait to one day live with them and in their childs bedroom and be the nanny! WOOOO!

Study Break!

Just something to show how excited I am that my best friend is coming HERE and we get to hang out and talk and cry and eat and do everything together TOMORROW!!!!!!

WOOHOO Sarah Hankins!!!

Notice the chalkboard in the back.

Rawwwww!

Eskimo

Sweet Pea! Apple of my eye!

I've got my hairs to keep me warm.